Certified...

So, yeah, it's been a while.  IDK if I will publish this or keep this up or what... but it has been suggested that I blog again... ok so it was STRONGLY suggested that I blog again.  Yay me.


I am official.  I've always known I was crazy, but now it's official.  I have an official diagnosis of anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, situational stress disorder, situational muteness, and more.  On the positive note, I get my service dog.  On the negative note, I'm certified. 


I have a way of projecting my feelings - especially if they are strong.  I'm not sure how I do it, but I have managed to do it in the past.  I guess these last few days I have been doing it again.  I'm projecting sad.  People around me are feeling it.  I feel it.  I see it. 


It's not as if my marriage is bad, because it is anything but.  I have a wonderful marriage.  I am still happier than I have ever been in my marriage.  I still love my husband completely and he me.  It's a good marriage.  We communicate.  We listen.  We love.  We laugh. I cry. We are passionate.  We are silly. We are good together.  I am better with him than I have ever been with any other.  I am faithful.  I am stronger when he is by my side. 


My thoughts are jumbled.  I can't focus on any one thing.  But I am ok.  I am.  

"It's not a smile, it's a lid on a scream."