Monday, March 27, 2006

Rest In Peace, my friend

Rest in Peace . I will miss you for the rest of my life. Your wit, your sarcasm, your uncanny ability to see straight through me. Your love, your friendship, your support, and your faith – I will never have anything to match. You were my safety harness. I knew that I could never fall with you holding me safe. I knew you were always there to catch me. You understood my love for my hubby, and you loved me anyway. Your friendship is something I have always held close to my heart. I loved you dearly, and I will never forget all that we shared. Without knowing me intimately, you knew me completely. You knew how to make me smile, you knew how to piss me off, you knew how to lift me up, you knew how to bring me down a notch – without doing damage to my psyche. You knew the little girl, you knew the wild teenager, you knew the woman, and all you ever did was love me. I wish that I could’ve granted you your every wish. I wish that I could’ve been more for you. I wish that I could’ve been your one. I am so happy that you had found someone that you loved. I am so happy that you knew the love and respect of a woman who could give you herself completely – without reservation, without something holding her back. I don’t know what she will do without you. I don’t know what I will do without you. You helped to teach me to trust. You told me when I was being stupid. You taught me how life was without judging me. When I would say that I was sick of hubby and that I wanted out, you were the one who said, ok, but realize what you are doing. You were the one who said, come on, I will take care of you, but know what you are losing. You convinced me to stay, and be happy, all the while, you simply loved.

Craig, what am I going to do without you? Without your protection? Without your sarcasm. You know, you were the only one who I allowed to speak to me in that manner. I frown at everyone else when they talk to me like you could. Who’s going to put me on that pedestal and let me jump down again? Every time you would lift me up, I would intentionally jump off, and yet, there you were, to lift me up again, and to tell me that I deserved to be there. I’ve seen you at your best, and I’ve talked to you when you were near your worst. I knew you as good as anyone, you had the worst time letting anyone in. I don’t know what made me so special that you let me in, but THANK YOU.

Rest in peace my friend. You are with your dad now. I pray that you are happy. I will miss you forever. And as always, I love you baby.

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