Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Well, We Made It!

FINALLY! We made it through a year without kiddo getting hurt. I don’t know if it is maturity, if it is all the prayers, or if it is just pure luck, but this year, we made it without kiddo getting hurt. Thank you for your positive thoughts.

So, what’s been going on?

Well, we’ve had guests for a while now. My brother- in- law was here from CA. I absolutely love it when he comes to town. And we’re still trying to talk him into moving back from there.

We’re getting ready for kiddo to leave for a week with the Boy Scouts. He’s going to Scout camp for a week. I’m not sure I am going to be able to handle him being gone that long, but we’ll see. He leaves on Sunday and will return on Saturday. Mom came up and helped buy some of the supplies needed for him to go, and Dad is going to give me some money for him to take as spending money. I am doing laundry trying to get all caught up and trying to decide what exactly he will be taking with him while he goes. He can only take that which will fit in his footlocker (minus the cot and sleeping bag) so I’m packing it carefully. This is the first time that kiddo will be gone that he is not with me or my mom. He’s spent over night and now (JUST THIS YEAR) two nights without me or mom, (and when I say me, I am including me and his dad – because he has stayed with his dad overnight two nights without me) and he has gone on vacations with my mom and been gone several days, but this is the longest he will be gone without one of us there. I’m REALLY not liking this idea. I know, I know... I have to cut those apron strings, but he’s still a little boy. He’s not a man. He’s not a teenager... I just want to have him close, so nothing and no one can hurt him. It’s scary to let your only child go into the world without you... even though you know the people he is going with, and where exactly he’s going and all the other things. It’s really hard. Maybe not for some people, but for me, it is very very difficult.

We’ve moved the dogs back into the house, because my male, Chandler, gets hot spots on his skin and then they get infected if he gets too hot. So the house is covered in dog hair. I am covered in dog hair. Even my car is covered in dog hair, and the dogs have not gotten into my car at all! I have invested in lint brushes, and spend way too much time using them.

Lots of babies lately. My cousin had her baby, and she is beautiful! And I love her name. I know it is a family name, but the baby’s middle name is the same as one of my grandma’s middle names, and I love that it is going forward. If I had been blessed with a daughter, I might’ve used the name too. I don’t know, Grams never was very fond of having two middle names... but I guess we’ll never know. The pastor’s daughter had a little boy, he was dedicated last Sunday at church... absolutely beautiful little boy. And my other cousin had a little boy too. Damien was just three pounds at birth. I’ve been trying to call to find out how he’s doing, but obviously, they are really busy. LOTS of babies. Then I was asked if I was still considering adopting a baby, because there are several small children at the Indian Nation Department of Human Services in a really close city, that are needing families. I go back and forth. When we have the finances, I’m really not sure that I want to adopt a child or a baby... and when we don’t, I start yearning for a little girl. I want a daughter some days, and other days, I’m completely content with my own son and have no desire to have any others. I don’t know that I can imagine devoting myself as completely to another child as I have my son. He encompassed my world for so many years. He is still a major (MAJOR) part of who I am, but as he is getting older, I am backing away letting him become the man he needs to become, and I am trying to get back to becoming the woman I was before I was his mother. I remember her, and parts of her, I really liked... I’m working on becoming that person again.

Hubby went to the doctor. He is now over 300 pounds. YIKES that is not a good thing. We are on a serious diet at my house. I am not enjoying it one iota. He says he will go and walk with me though, so that will be nice. We are trying portion control and healthier foods. Kiddo is not very happy about the deal, but it’s ok. Hubby also got put on diet pills. *I* want diet pills. But they screw with my heart, and that is not a good thing at all.

I’ve been sending my Grandma a card a week since I found out that she has cancer. I don’t know if she likes them or not. I don’t know if they make her smile or not. I hope they do.

There is a lot more I have to say, but since this is a marathon post anyway, I’m going to end for now. I’ll write more soon. REMIND ME: abortion, London, Terror, stupid movies, friends walking 60 miles for cancer (YEA WENDY!!!), going to friends houses, and I forget the rest...but remind me of those things and I’ll write on them the next post.
Until then,

No comments: