Monday, July 18, 2005

Missing HIM

It's only day one. I have no idea how parents who are divorced DO this. One week. It's only one week. I can manage one week, can't I? Am I the most protective parent on the planet? Do I REALLY still have that umbilical cord attached? I thought I had cut it years ago... that I just had the apron strings pulled tight... I have no idea how on earth I am going to make it the rest of the week. Count on me being a complete mess by Friday. Saturday can not come soon enough. I would be so much happier if these night terrors would stop. I am unreasonable at night. Snakes attacking my son, him breaking legs, him drowning, him getting some weird disease from the lake and dying... these are the things that make up my dreams at night. I don't know how I'll ever make it to the weekend with these things filling my nights. I feel as if someone has taken a part of my soul and are holding it captive - for ransom even. What a lesson I am learning. I do not like this lesson.

I miss my boy.

No comments: