Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Insert some title here...

Things have GOT to get better. Let's see...what's happened since I last updated? I had pneumonia... yeah, that sucked. Tell me that our medical coverage is ending and what happens? I get pneumonia. My lungs may never be the same again - seems that I can go from a cold to pneumonia in 2.3 seconds... at least to me. So I got this wonderful antibiotic, and what now? I have a yeast infection. Yeah fun. I know, I know TMI. Tough. I still don't have a permanent job, but I did take a little temp job that was supposed to last two weeks... yeah, I've already worked myself out of a job there...twice. Fortunately, they like me, so they keep finding new projects to put me on, but today, when I asked for more work, I realized that I'm pretty close to being out of projects - I've almost got the whole damned department caught up. Woo hoo for them - sucks for me.

Hubby still doesn't have a job, and is starting to stress. I mean, he had PLANNED on being off the end of this week, and then the week after next anyway, but now, it's because he doesn't have a choice. Telecom is not a good field to be in right now folkes. (Just an FYI). At least this week, I am getting out of the house and earning more than I did at my unemployment... and since I am getting out of the house, we are not on top of one another (and not in a good way either) so we are not fighting. I know this is not the time to be fighting, and I know that we should be trying to get along right now, but we are both stressed to the max, worrying about finances and everything. Hubby's severance doesn't start for another three weeks, so that makes finances a little tight. We're hoping to get his check for his vacation this week - so that will make things a little easier on us. We're also waiting on the paper work for his 401K to cash out so we can pay off all our bills except the house and utilities - but right now, right now, I'm worried about whether or not I will have the money to pay for gas to and from work next week - if I get to stay there. Right now, I am worried about how I am going to pay the cable bill, so I can keep my computer up so I can apply for jobs on line. Right now, I am wondering how long we can make finances last to keep our kiddo happy. Right now, I'm wondering if I can come up with an idea for kiddo to do for his dad so I don't have to buy anything. Right now, I'm wondering if I have a stamp to send a home made card to my grandpa for Father's day. Right now, my mind is racing a thousand miles per hour. And all I want to do is crawl in a hole until it all gets better. I've been walking that line for a while now people. Can't I please just jump on over the edge and loose it for a while? (No, don't answer that, we both know that I won't actually DO that - no matter how much I want to just let go of the tenuous hold I have on things) and yes, when I was at the doctor (another bill I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to pay) I did ask for something stronger to get me through things for a while. Somehow, some way, things are going to be all right. Yes, Krista, I am walking. I am choosing to take the stairs at work instead of the elevator. I am parking in the furthest parking spot away from the door. I am actually DOING something to try to make myself feel better. However, I have to plead that with all that is going on, I do have a right to be in a funk, don't I?

My eighth anniversary is next week. Eight years. HA. People said I'd never make it six months. *I* said I'd never make it six weeks. I'm one week away from making it eight years. Damn. Where does the time go? Hopefully, this means that we will have a better year - seems that any time we have a rotten anniversary, we have a good year - when we have a good anniversary, we almost divorce. We've come close on more than one occasion this year. I guess we're going to make it through this anniversary. It's more than I thought we would - even four months ago. We'll see what is to come.

Ok, so that's my update. I'm working a temp job, still looking and interviewing for permanent positions. Hubby is still looking. Oh, kiddo, he's coming through this relatively good. I try VERY hard to keep him uninformed about all the stress and the finances. He's a kid, he needs to stay a kid, and not worry about things like we are. The most it is affecting him is that he won't get to go to Branson like we had thought. He'll get over that - his grandma is taking him somewhere else for the weekend next weekend, so he'll have tons of fun then.

Until next time...

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