Sunday, August 10, 2003

Hi all! Nicole, I promise to get your questions up this week - I've had a bit of a hell week, so I'm sorry - I didn't get them up. I'm looking forward to seeing your answers though, so I'm working on getting something intelligent for you to answer. Let's see...what's gone on in my life...Last weekend Mom came and stayed with us... that was cool, except even hubby said that she was on me the entire time she was there... I thought I was just being sensitive, but he said she was really riding me pretty hard...over about everything - mostly about my painkillers though. she thinks I take too many. What's funny is when she's around, I don't take them. What she thinks is my eyes clouded over from "drugs" is my eyes clouded over from pain because I don't want to take the drugs around her... so basically I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. When I do take them, she just frowns. I can't win. I try to take something milder, and that doesn't satisfy her either, because it's still a narcotic, and could knock her out, but she doesn't seem to realize the chronic pain that I am in. seems living in a different town has left her not seeing how quickly my health deteriorated. Sucks, but oh well. I'm actually doing pretty well on the "Dope-a-max" - I do feel dumb as a post, but not ALL the time. I just start getting used to the dose, and it's time to increase it again, so I'll be glad when I'm able to stay on one dosage for more than 7 days. It has really helped me stay OFF of carbonated drinks though. They are just nasty. I never thought I would feel that way about Coca-cola, but let me tell you... they are just nasty. Oh, - see - "Dope-a-max" again - I was telling you about my week - starting with my last weekend - anyway, mom was here, and she helped out a TON. Even though she was on me a ton, I really enjoyed having her. Believe it or not. I could tell she was stressed from her job, and I know she was worried about me, so it was coming out by her being on me, so I just let most of it slide by, but it was really nice having her around. She got kiddo's closet all cleaned out and all of his clothing gone through, and all of his school supplies bought. So he is all ready for school. I can't believe how big he is getting!! (that is another post all together!) ( Once I figure out how to post pictures, I'll post one of him that you will not believe!) So anyway, after mom left on Sunday evening, I went to fix kiddo's lunch for Monday, and I hear this really strange noise coming from my freezer... it sounds like water being dropped on a hot burner... and so I start looking around... yep, the condensor in my freezer is RED hot. GLOWING RED HOT. I was pleased. NOT. So I pulled everything out of the freezer, and took it to the outside freezer, and called my dad. Asked him what to do, checked the fridge, so far so good, in that it's still cold (THANK YOU! GOD!) Dad said that I had probably had something pushing against the condensor and that it couldn't get air circulating and that it was getting hot for that reason, and to clean it really good behind the fridge and to keep everything out of the freezer and he'd call someone he knew and he'd let me know in the morning. So MONDAY - yep, that was just Sunday - Monday I started off my day with a phone call from a manic depressed friend who is off his meds, telling me "goodbye". Notice I said he's off his meds. Now, I have lost someone close to me via suicide, and I do not "play" nice when it comes to suicide. PERIOD. So I told him that no, he did not really want to die, or he would already be dead, this was just a cry for help because he was off his meds, and I was going to call the police and damn him for starting my week off this way. There was more to the conversation, but I'm not gonna go through the whole thing here. Basically, I called him an asshole, and told him that I didn't appreciate the call, and that he needed to get help, and that I would be calling the police... which I did. Then I had to deal with the police until they found him - which was a little (in my own twisted way - little) amusing because I didn't have his exact address - one of those things - I knew basically where he lived, just didn't know his address - so I had to give them directions - and anyone who knows me well knows that I can get lost in a square mile - so this was not necessarily a good thing - but I got it handled - the officer called me and said, "we've made contact ma'am", and hung up on me. Great. You've made contact. So, um, is my friend alive? Did he take a bunch of pills, did he try to hang himself? what the hell? Can you tell me ANYTHING? nope, he just hung up on me. So I gave him thirty minutes, and called him back and said, "Um, Hi, this is Ms. - Can you tell me if my friend is alive?" - "oh, sorry, yes, he is, but I've really got to go ma'am". I still don't have a clue. I guess knowing he's alive is enough for now. It basically has to be. So, later Monday, Dad calls and asks me how my day is... I give him one of my twisted laughs and tell him not so good, and ask about his... he's had six polleps removed from his colon. Since he's already a cancer survivor, this is not a good thing. GREAT... and we'll know when? if these are cancerous? the day just won't end. Did I mention that sometime during all this shit that I managed to see THIRTY some applicants and put almost seven people to work? yep. Fun stuff maynard. So my week started out pretty shitty and went down hill from there. I won't bore you with the rest of the week. Just know that it didn't get a lot better. It didn't get a lot worse either, and for that I am emensly grateful, but it definitely didn't get any better. I worked Saturday, trying to get things in order for next week, and I'm supposed to be working right now, but I wanted to post somethign this week, and I know that unless something gives, and trust me, it very well could be me, I won't have time to do it this week.... there is so much I need to get out.

I want opinions on taking another job... I have a pretty good opportunity... but I left one to come back to staffing.... and right now with staffing booming again... am I giving up potential to earn some pretty good cash for something unknown? Although, I have to say, this staffing is a pain in the ass right now. A major pain in the ass. I need help. I need someone else in the office, I can't do it on my own, and they are just not allowing that to happen, and when they do, then they put off my commission - so there goes the cash... am I just disolusioned because of the last few months or is the owner really that much of a shit? I just don't know what to think. I know the potential is there at the other place, because I'm the one who ran the D&B, and I know EVERYTHING they are asking - plus in two years, a VIRTUAL office - hello!!! a VIRTUAL office ?!?!!! I just hate change. I'm good at staffing. I know staffing. I'm a good judge of character, and a quick judge of character. which would make me excellent for the other position... it's just not staffing. Do I really want to change. I guess it would depend on what happens here in the next few weeks to be honest. I'll keep you in formed. Until then, I gotta get some data entry done. I've got a TON of people who need to be put on job orders so they can be paid. I have a ton of payroll that I can run through today so that I'm not stressing over it on Tuesday and it's not getting done at all on Wednesday.... mmmm can you feel the stress already building? Maybe the other job is a better direction? But you KNOW I thrive on stress... don't I? As long as I'm here working - could someone go clean my house? Please? hubby is still asleep - at least he was thirty min ago when I checked on kiddo.

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