Wednesday, June 22, 2005


Today is my nine year wedding anniversary. I have been married to hubby for NINE years. Now, I admit, I haven't been the best wife, but I have been good to him. It's hard to believe that we are still married after all this time. There are days when I don't WANT to be married to him after all this time... and there are days when I can't imagine NOT being married to him... It's a strange time for reflection... how far we've come, how many steps backwards we've taken, how many steps forwards we've gone again... it's definitely been a roller coaster ride. At least now that I'm older the ups don't quite go so far up - which means the downs don't plummet like they have in the past. It's more of a kiddie ride roller coaster... throw in a few curves now and again... and it's managable.

We've come to a place in our marriage where we think we know each other. It's comforting... albeit occasionally boring. There is stability where I am.

Hubby has done the one thing that he promised me he would do, the one thing that has kept us married all these years. He has been an amazing Daddy to my boy. He promised me when he asked me to marry him that he would take care of me and he would always be there and take care of my son and that he would be the best daddy he could be. He would never leave. He would love us no matter what. He would be a better daddy than his dad was, he would be a better daddy than my dad was, and he would do the very best he could to be the best Dad. Now, granted, he is not the best dad on the planet, but he is the best dad for my boy. For our boy. People who don't know, would never guess that my son is his adopted son. I even get told that they look alike... They definitely ACT alike.

The other thing that hubby has done that some would take for granted, but that means the world to me, is he has never raised a hand to me. He has never slapped me, he has never hit me. He has only yelled at me twice in my married life, and three times in my whole life. He doesn't raise his voice. When I say he "yelled" at me, nine times out of ten, he simply changed the tone of his voice, not the volume. Me, I get loud. I yell. I hollar. He changes the tone of his voice. I have complete faith that he will never hit me. With my past, and with my history - that says a lot. A whole lot. For me to trust this man... even with nine years - for me to trust him - says a world about him.

So, we've made it nine years. I don't know why anyone would ever put up with my shit that long. But he has. Amazingly enough, he still loves me.

Happy Anniversary to us.

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