Thursday, November 13, 2003


So, how's everyone's day? The end of the week is nigh, and I can't say that I have been happier to see a week come to an end. This one has been a real ass kicker. On top of work, which is trying to kill me, I'm having other issues at home, and in addition to THAT - I'm getting sick. Which royally sucks ass. I've lost my damned voice - again. And I have to go and see clients.

I've pissed off a friend, because I didn't tell her something, and instead tried to do what I could behind the scenes, now she thinks that I've been disloyal or that I've lied to her - which I suppose by leaving out information, I have- but I didn't do it to hurt her or be deceitful, I did it to try to work what I could from my end. When she came out and asked me, I was honest. Pissed her off. Maybe she'll realize that I didn't do anything to purposefully hurt her. And if she doesn't, then I'm not sure what I'll do to try to fix the situation.

Before that, I was hateful to hubby today. I must really be in a mood. He totally infuriated me though, and so instead of being nice, and waiting until I was calm to talk about things, I told him I was angry and why. Honestly, it was pretty petty, but it still pissed me off. He insists that the dogs HAVE to come in to sleep when the weather gets below 40 degrees. Now this is FINE for him, because they leave him alone - or if they don't, he sleeps through it anyway... not me. I hear every crunch they make on a bone, anytime they move around, it wakes me... when I wake up, they come to sniff to make sure I'm alright, because my breathing pattern changes... when they come to check on me, I'm definitely awake, so they think it's time to play or to get pet. Thus starts another bout of "GET OFF THE BED" - "DOWN" - "NO! It's time to sleep" "LEAVE ME ALONE". I get them settled, and start off to sleep again, knowing full well that it is near impossible because hubby snores so damned loud, only to get woke up again by one checking on me, or doing something like that. It's a vicious cycle that leaves me exhausted and hubby wondering why I am so damned grumpy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my dogs. I don't mind them sleeping in the house, but I don't want them sleeping in my room. I want them sleeping in the office, in the kitchen, or something like that. Where I can actually SLEEP. Absolutely not in kiddo's room.

So, after my shit night of sleep, I get up, rather late, and go to take a shower. Kiddo being the darling that he is, has decided that he wants to fix breakfast for the family - Dad did it on Monday, and it was SO cool that kiddo HAS to do it too.... Well, I told kiddo that he would HAVE to have some help and told him to ask his dad if dad would be willing to help... kiddo said that dad said yes. So I go about my business not worried about anything.... Kiddo gets up, gets dressed, and then comes into my bathroom and asks me if he's going to get to fix breakfast TODAY because he was not able to do it the day before. "Yes, go wake up dad, and ask him to help you" so I can finish my shower and get dressed. Kiddo goes to dad, dad tells him to wait until after mom is out of shower, and then he'll get into shower THEN come and help him.... this DOES NOT WORK in my house - there is not enough time, so kiddo comes back to me, after I'm out of the shower, standing in a towel, and trying to dry my hair, "MOM, am I going to get to fix breakfast today?" Looks at the clock, "or is it going to be too late?" (TEARS in his eyes). So I leave my hair, and head to the kitchen. (Remember, I'm grumpy as is due to lack of sleep.) Get the eggs started, and the toast started, and help kiddo by showing him how to scramble eggs... Dad comes in, after his shower, is mostly dressed and ready for work...and is all "WHAT?" - I just glare. To which I get, "Why are you frowning at me?" - believe me, I wanted to say, well, you inconsiderate ass, get up, and do something for someone other than you, you fuck. I didn't, but damn, I wanted to. So I go to the bedroom to try to get my hair fixed and get dressed for work, and he comes in asking me what my problem is...and how I slept. NOT a good decision. I told him. I told him how I slept, and I told him how I was pissed that he didn't get up and help kiddo, when he KNEW how important it was to kiddo (the child wouldn't have been talking about it for three days otherwise) and how he'd said he would help, and low and behold, he hadn't done a blooming thing, and I was pissed.

Somehow, *I* end out feeling guilty. Why? *I* ended out apologizing for being so grumpy, and *I* end out apologizing for myself. Damned it, I am pissed. I have a *RIGHT* to be angry. He made a commitment to help out, and he wouldn't get his lazy butt out of bed. Why is it that *I* am the one who is apologizing? Poor kiddo. I told him how proud I was of him fixing breakfast, and how much I appreciated the gesture, and asked him if we could do it again - on a SATURDAY. Made me feel good to see him smile. I tried to make sure kiddo didn't hear me telling (mind you telling not YELLing) dad that I thought he was an ass today.

ANd it's only THURSDAY. Heaven help me get through FRIDAY without chomping someone else's head off. Maybe I need to post a sign that says, "Beware of Michele - she's grumpy as Hell"... or something to that degree... and for those of you thinking that I'm just "PMS-ing" get over yourselves, I don't do that anymore, I've had surgery, and I do not have that... I take my hormones on a regular basis, so everythings fine there. It's not something you can blame on THAT.

See, beware of Michele, she's grumpy as hell. Have a Thursday y'all.

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